Well, here’s another to add to the list: 38% of Illinoisans reported missing their work spouse more than they would miss their real partners (if they were to actually get some space from them right now), according to a recent survey. Ouch.

Two in three Illinois couples said they are not as productive since working under the stay-at-home order alongside their partners, according to the survey data. Similarly, 63% of all those surveyed said their work productivity would be higher if they were quarantined with their “work wife” or “work husband,” instead of their actual wives or husbands.

The survey questioned 3,500 people, who are currently working remotely while in quarantine with their partners, “about their relationship with their work spouse vs. their actual partner.”

Alyssa Westring, a work-family expert and associate professor of management at the Driehaus College of Business at DePaul University, thinks these findings may be more about how people think about the things they have versus the things they don’t have, as opposed to a “who would I pick” mindset. She says not to put too much weight into people’s perceptions about who they would miss more.

“Frankly, we’re all kind of getting sick of the people we’re quarantined with. I’m sure that if we had a day apart from them, we’d miss them, too, but it’s been months for many of us without even an hour break,” she said. “I think it’s more about the fantasy of things being different, than it is really about the intimacy of those relationships.”

The social element of someone’s job can play a large role in missing a work spouse, too, Westring said.

“If you’re married and work a full-time job, the people that you spend the most time with, besides your partner, are your work colleagues ・that is your social circle as well,” she said. “So there’s a friendship level, too, that I think people are for sure missing.”

While missing out on those social connections is a valid concern, Westring also thinks being without certain work relationships can make people miss parts of themselves, specifically the parts that are put together and professional, and not frazzled in sweatpants, she said.

“When we’re with our partner, we’re playing that partner role, but there are aspects of our personalities that may come out in the workplace that we don’t really get to express when we’re home all the time,” said Westring. “There’s parts of our identity that we’re not getting to live in right now, and I think the work relationships can remind us of that part of ourselves that we’re not really seeing.”

Elizabeth Burke, owner and founder of Empowered Therapy in Chicago, says couples need to seek understanding around why a partner calls a colleague a “work spouse.”

“It’s important that people are clear about what that means to both the person who has the work spouse, and to their partner,” said Burke. “Be really open and honest and communicative about that, so that the person who has the work spouse can recognize their own blind spots before (those blind spots) become issues in their relationship.”

Burke said asking your partner questions like, “What does the term mean to you?” and “Do you trust them in a different way than your other colleagues?“ can be helpful ways to gain clarity. If responses to these questions sound like, “I see them as someone who I want to spend a lot of time with, and they understand me in a different way,” then setting boundaries may become necessary, Burke said. “They’re getting more into an intimacy thing.”

Couples should also examine their own relationship, too, asking questions centered around trust and communication like, “Are there issues within our relationship that make it more difficult for me to trust them?” and “Is my partner trying to keep their work life secretive, or changing work habits to align with this colleague?”

Burke doesn’t think the term “work spouse” is negative, but she does urge couples to be careful.

“We spend so much time at our offices working with people who understand our stressors in maybe a different way than our spouses, and who are really there with us so many hours of the week,” she said. “I think it can draw two people together in a way that then can be a little bit dangerous in their personal lives.”